| Three years, woohoo!
On July 17th, I celebrated my third anniversary as Executive Director of Friendship Center. Fittingly, it was spent surrounded by longtime friends, new supporters, our remarkable staff and Board, and so many of you at our second annual Summer Polo Soirée. It was a fabulous afternoon and a wonderful reminder of just how much this community believes in our mission. Thank you for making it such a joyful success!
The three-year mark in my role, and almost ninth year of being as part of the Friendship Center family, has me feeling particularly reflective about how I first showed up here.
When I stepped into this role three years ago, I felt an enormous responsibility not only to preserve Friendship Center’s extraordinary legacy, but to earn the trust of a community that has loved this organization for nearly fifty years. I wanted everyone to know just how deeply I cared, said yes to every opportunity to learn, sought advice from anyone willing to share it, and poured myself wholeheartedly into the work. Those long days and late nights weren’t something I resented; in many ways, they were, and still are, some of my most fulfilling days because they’re how I’ve always expressed my commitment.
That commitment hasn’t changed. What has changed,though, is that I’m now beginning to give myself a little more grace.
Many of those seeds were planted years ago through thoughtful mentors, trusted colleagues, and my experiences with the incredible Leading From Within programs. They taught me that healthy organizations aren’t led by people who never stop working, but by leaders who build healthy, sustainable ways of working. It has taken me some time, but I’m finally allowing those lessons to grow. The people who encouraged me to find balance weren’t trying to make me a better Executive Director. They were trying to help me become a better human being. As it turns out, those two things aren’t separate.
For me, balance doesn’t necessarily mean less work. Sometimes it looks like singing my heart out during karaoke with our members or maybe it is making the recipe I’ve had saved in my phone for months. Sometimes it’s reading a book instead of answering one more email. And recently, it meant signing up for a Monday evening line dancing class.
Now, I have absolutely no connection to line dancing. None. But I know myself well enough to know that if I’ve committed to a class that starts at 6:00 p.m., I’ll actually leave the office on time. Once I’m there, laughing with friends and meeting new people, I’ve created something I’ve been working toward all along: a life that exists alongside my work, not just because of it.
I’m sharing this because I believe leadership means modeling the values we encourage in others. At Friendship Center, we encourage our staff to care for themselves so they can care well for others. Our staff encourage families to do the same. We remind caregivers every day that finding moments of balance isn’t selfish: it’s essential. I should be willing to practice that, too.
I know many of you reading this are thinking, “That’s easier said than done.” and you are correct.We read so much about work-life balance and the importance of self-care, especially for caregivers. But we also know that for family caregivers, balance can feel less like a realistic goal and more like a distant wish. The responsibilities are constant, the emotions are heavy, and there is always one more thing to do.
That’s why I want to draw your attention this month to BALANCE. That one, complex yet rewarding word.
Balance doesn’t have to mean taking a week-long vacation. Sometimes it’s as simple as listening to music you haven’t heard in years rather than another self-help podcast (love those, though). Or maybe it’s walking along the beach for twenty minutes, joining a book club, trying a new class, or saying yes to something that has nothing to do with caregiving.
I promise those moments aren’t going to be distractions from the important work you’re doing. They’re actually what will sustain you so you can continue doing it.
So this month, I’d like to leave you with a small challenge; try to find one thing that belongs only to you. It doesn’t have to be line dancing. It simply has to remind you that alongside being a caregiver, a professional, a spouse, a parent, or a volunteer…you are still wonderfully, uniquely yourself. That person deserves your attention, too. Let me know how this goes for you or if you need some ideas, I’ve got plenty. |
