| A Letter from the Director |
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We did it!
After months (well, years) of planning, our 50th Anniversary Weekend has officially come and gone, and we are all still buzzing.
There are a few things in my life that I am really, really proud of. Most of them have something to do with Friendship Center. One involves successfully teaching my pug to use a doggy door independently. But hosting our inaugural Dementia Care Conference alongside my teammate Shyra Jain, surrounded by some of the most remarkable people I’ve had the privilege of learning from and working alongside, followed the very next day by a Family Reunion filled with people who have been part of Friendship Center’s fifty-year story…that one is going to be hard to top.
If you weren’t able to join us, Gail Arnold wrote a wonderful piece in the Santa Barbara Independent that captures the weekend beautifully, I wrote a longer reflection on our blog, and we’ve been sharing lots of photos as well. I won’t attempt to recreate all of it here, but there are a few things I learned, and felt, that I want to share.
I spent most of the weekend wearing my “professional” hat as the very proud host of these special events, but I also unexpectedly got to experience, personally, the kind of space we work to create for families every day at Friendship Center.
In the midst of a very busy day, a situation arose in my own family that quickly took me out of Executive Director mode and straight into daughter mode. I found myself needing the very thing we spend every day trying to provide to other families: people I trusted to step in, understand what was happening, and help me know that someone I love was safe and respected. And they did!
I can’t adequately explain what it felt like to be on the receiving end of that care. I felt safe, supported, and, perhaps most importantly, not alone. That experience has stayed with me as much as anything else from the weekend because it reminded me, in a very personal way, what we’re actually trying to create here. When we talk about dignity, safety, respite, trust, connection, and person-centered care, those can start to sound like nice words we put in brochures. But the people who walk through our doors aren’t concepts or diagnoses. They’re somebody’s mom, husband, grandfather, or best friend—the most important person in the world to someone. And they’re our people, too!
I have poured an enormous amount of myself into Friendship Center because I believe deeply in what this place provides to families. To unexpectedly need some of that same care myself and discover that it was every bit as safe, loving, and instinctive as I hoped it would be was an absolute gift.
And it reinforced one of the biggest messages I took away from our conference:
this is really hard, and none of us should have to figure it out alone.
Sometimes the person who understands what you’re going through isn’t necessarily the person who looks most like you on paper. Recently, I met someone navigating a family situation remarkably similar to my own. There are about thirty years between us and very few parallels in our backgrounds, but within minutes we were speaking the same language. There was something enormously comforting about not having to explain every complicated emotion because the other person already understood it. It felt like a weight being lifted and a big cozy sweater being wrapped around me at the same time, which, admittedly, is a terrible metaphor during this ridiculous heatwave. Sheesh.
So if you’re a daughter who desperately needs to talk to another daughter who gets it, tell us. If you’re a husband, brother, friend caring for a friend, or someone navigating a diagnosis yourself and wondering whether anyone else understands, tell us. If we know someone who might be a good connection, we’ll help bring you together. If we don’t, we’ll help look. And if you’ve been through this yourself and would like to support someone currently in the trenches, please let us know that, too!
And that brings me to my biggest request coming out of our 50th anniversary.
Please help us make sure people know we’re here. |
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We do not currently have a waitlist, which I regularly refer to as being “bananas.” We have an extraordinary team, wonderful programs, transportation, caregiver support, education and resources, and the ability to welcome more families into our community. Yet I still meet people who tell me, “I wish I had known about Friendship Center sooner.” The one that really gets me is, “I wish I’d known about you when my mom was still alive.” That gives me a pit in my stomach every single time.
Because somewhere in our community right now, there is a family rearranging their entire life around dementia who doesn’t know that Friendship Center exists. There is a daughter wondering how much longer she can manage alone, a spouse who assumes their loved one would never participate in a program like ours, or a family who thinks cost, transportation, or their particular situation makes Friendship Center impossible.
And, hey, maybe Friendship Center won’t be the right fit. But please let us help figure that out. We’ve been doing this for fifty years, and we know the first approach doesn’t always work. We can try a different day, activity, introduction, or way of making someone feel comfortable. Let us at least have the opportunity to meet them.
And you can help us do that.
Tell your friends about us. Share our posts or forward this newsletter. If you belong to Rotary, a social club, faith community, neighborhood association, or another group, connect us. Write letters to the editor of local news outlets. If you own a business or lead a workplace, invite us to talk with your employees about the resources available when someone they love begins needing care. Send people our way before they’re in crisis, not after they’ve spent years trying to do this alone.
I want people to know our name before they need us.
Because the greatest privilege of this work isn’t having people tell me how wonderful Friendship Center is. It’s watching someone walk in carrying something unbearably heavy and realizing there are people here willing to help them carry it.
This anniversary weekend reminded me that I get to be one of those people. It also reminded me that sometimes, I get to be the person who needs them. What an absolute blessing that is!
With so much love and gratitude, |
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| Kathryn Westland , MPH
Executive Director |
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IN THIS EMAIL YOU WILL FIND…
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- Key Dates
- Special Feature: ? 50th Anniversary Weekend ?
- Ways to Support Friendship Center this October
- Supporter Spotlight: Jim Pigato
- Activity Schedules
- September Photos
- Meet the Team: Lily
- Caregiver Resources
- Articles of Interest
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- Wednesday, October 7th: Downtown Santa Barbara Memory Cafe @ 9:00AM
- TODAY! Wednesday, October 7th: Enjoy a meal at Mendocino Farms anytime between 2PM – 9PM and 50% of the proceeds will go directly to Friendship Center. Show THIS FLYER at restaurant check out.
- Wednesday, October 14th: Senior Expo @ 9:00AM
- Friday, October 16th: Wild & Free Film Festival Outdoor Community Movie Night @ 5:30PM
- Wednesday, October 21st: Downtown Santa Barbara Memory Cafe @ 9:00AM
- Wednesday, October 21st: Coffee for Caregivers @ 9:00AM
- Thursday, October 22nd: FC closes at 3:00PM for staff training
- Thursday, October 29th: Friendship Center Halloween Party @ 12PM, (RSVP HERE)
- Friday, October 30th: Montecito Family YMCA Trunk-or-Treat
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Special Feature: ? 50th Anniversary Weekend ?
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Our Inaugural Dementia Care Conference
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| Friendship Center’s First Dementia Care Conference brought together over one hundred caregivers, students, nurses, and health and business professionals for a full day of learning and connection. With inspiring speakers, practical tools, thoughtful conversations, and new connections, the conference was a meaningful way to kick off our 50th Anniversary Weekend. Thank you to everyone who joined us and helped make the day special! |
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? Take a look at the Dementia Care Conference photos:
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Friendship Center Family Reunion & Alumni Picnic
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| Friendship Center’s first Family Reunion & Picnic at Chase Palm Park brought together more than 200 guests, including past and present members, families, staff, volunteers, and supporters. This free event celebrated the people, friendships, and moments that have shaped our community over the past 50 years. From joyful reunions and familiar faces to new connections and plenty of laughter, the afternoon beautifully demonstrated what makes Friendship Center so special: the people who make up our community. Whether you’ve been part of Friendship Center for five days, five years, or five decades, once you’re part of this community, you’re always family. |
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? Check out photos from The Family Reunion & Picnic:
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Friendship Center’s Family Reunion & Picnic in the News:
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? Special thanks to the following featured Family Reunion & Picnic Event Sponsors ?
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Sue & John Adams: In Memory of Sam Adams
Davis & Louise Borgatello
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Our Flags on State Street
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Just three days after our 50th Anniversary Weekend concluded, our flags flew high along State Street in Downtown Santa Barbara for the first time. It was a wonderful way to close out such a meaningful weekend and remind our community that Friendship Center has been here for 50 years, and will continue to pour into this community for decades to come.
A special thank you to Santa Barbara local Leila Elkurji, currently pursuing her master’s in design at Parsons and a UC Davis Design Honors graduate, who generously donated her time and talents to collaboratively design these beautiful flags with us. We are so grateful for her creativity and support! |
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Ways to Support Friendship Center this October
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| Our 50th Anniversary Weekend may be complete but there are still plenty of ways to let the celebration continue! Take a look at the ways you can stay connected and support Friendship Center this month. |
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SUPPORTER SPOTLIGHT: Jim Pigato
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| For almost 20 years, Jim Pigato has been connected to Friendship Center. His late stepfather, Marvin Walpole, was a member, and Jim’s family was delighted to hear from staff that Marvin was quite the dancer—a side of him they didn’t know existed.
His stepfather, Dr. David Medina, also enjoyed the Montecito location for several years before moving to a full-time memory care facility near downtown Santa Barbara.
Reflecting on his family’s experiences with Friendship Center, Jim shared, “I’m so impressed with the number of activities available to the members participating in the program. One of my favorites was sitting with David during the Veterans Day luncheon and seeing David and the other veterans honored. It meant a lot to our family that he was recognized.” |
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| Jim continues to support Friendship Center as a monthly donor because he has seen firsthand how the organization and its staff treat those living with dementia with dignity and kindness. “What Friendship Center offers to our local seniors and their families is an invaluable service. I’m grateful to help support the excellent work they do.”
Thank you, Jim for your continued support! Want to join Jim in making a difference every month? Sign up to become a monthly giver today and you will receive an exclusive 50th Anniversary sticker pack! |
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October 12, 10:00AM: Songs for Seniors
October 13, 11:00AM: Live Music with Tom
October 15, 1:00PM: Live Music with Gem
October 19, 1:00PM: Trudy & Rob
October 20, 2:00PM: The Unaccompanied Miners
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| Wednesday, October 7: Quien Soy? Game & Art
Monday, October 12: No Digas Lo Mismo Que yo!
Wednesday, October 14: Craft & Art
Monday, October 19: Chair Exercises & Brain Games
Wednesday, October 21: Word Games & Chair Yoga
Monday, October 26: Dia De Los Muertos Craft
Wednesday, October 28: Art & Trivia |
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| Friday, October 9: Volunteer Recognition Party
Tuesday, October 13: Pumpkin Art Pieces
Friday, October 16: Arts & Crafts Leaf Collage
Tuesday, October 20: Halloween Card Making & Apple Cider
Friday, October 23: Painting Pumpkins
Tuesday, October 27: Making Clay Figures
Friday, October 30: Halloween Celebration!! |
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Connections Social Group Topics:
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| Thursday, October 8: Leonel Mendoza-Diaz speaking on The City of Goleta Senior Program
Tuesday, October 13: Bob Gray speaking on Geology
Thursday, October 15: Guest Speaker Lisa Burns
Tuesday, October 20: Bob Burtness speaking on “The Little Known Histories of California”
Thursday, October 22: Tom Karrel speaking on The Lost Art of Random Conversations
Tuesday, October 27: Sean Causby presenting Drum Therapy
Thursday, October 29: TBD |
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| Wednesday, October 7: The Good Old Days, Games & Trivia
Wednesday, October 21: Brain Games & Dia de los Muertos |
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| Meet the Team: Lily, Program Specialist |
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| Originally from Austin, Texas, Lily joined Friendship Center after graduating from UCLA in 2026 with a B.A. in Fine Arts. Her creativity is just one special and unique talent she brings to Friendship Center, where she enjoys sketching members, creating art alongside them, and assisting with ceramics projects. Outside of Friendship Center, Lily continues to pursue her passion for art as an intern at a local ceramics studio. She also enjoys hiking and biking in her free time.
Lily was drawn to Friendship Center through her own experience as a caregiver for her grandmother. Today, one of her favorite parts of her work is the relationships she has built with members and their caregivers. “I love building relationships with all of the members and caregivers,” she shared. |
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| Lily was also an enthusiastic part of Friendship Center’s 50th Anniversary Weekend, attending the Dementia Care Conference and Family Reunion & Picnic. She found the conference “super valuable,” both professionally and personally, particularly the conversations around planning for the future and supporting families. One takeaway that stayed with her was a powerful reminder: “Dementia can take a lot from a person, but they are still a person with a life to be lived.”
At the Family Reunion & Picnic, Lily brought her artistic talents along with her and created live sketches throughout the afternoon. “The picnic was so fun!” she said. “It was fun to see families that go to Friendship Center, outside of the day program context.”
We’re grateful to have Lily’s creativity, compassion, and perspective as part of the Friendship Center team! Thank you Lily, to all you contribute to the Friendship Center team! |
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| CAREGIVER & FAMILY RESOURCES |
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| We’ve opened availability for FC support groups! All support groups currently have openings for to those supporting a loved one living with dementia. To register, please contact kim@friendshipcentersb.org.
Support Group Schedule:
- Every Monday, 3:00 pm – 4:30 pm with Gina Bell (All caregivers)
- 1st & 3rd Tuesdays, 2:00 pm – 3:00 pm with Joe Wheatley (Caregivers of Friendship Center members)
- 1st & 3rd Tuesdays, Virtual, 4:30 pm – 5:30 pm with Gina Bell, RSVP HERE for the meeting link (Caregivers of Friendship Center members)
- 2nd & 4th Wednesdays, 9:30 am – 11:00 am with Jeffrey Krutzsch (All caregivers)
- Every Friday, 11:00 am – 12:30 pm with Gina Bell (All caregivers)
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In-Person Educational Program offered by PASB on October 13, 2026
- Dr. Ben Meyers, MD will discuss non-motor symptoms of PD, how to validate feelings that people may have experienced, and how to stay safe. Doctor Meyers is a Movement Disorder Specialist that started at Sutter Health on October 1, 2026. He completed his undergraduate degree at the University of Michigan, with medical training at Thomas Jefferson (Philadelphia), UVA (Virginia), and USC (Los Angeles). He has particular passions for medical journalism, patient education, dog-watching and college sports. He was recently a panelist at Friendship Center’s Dementia Care Conference. His wife, Hope Saxon-Meyers, is a Gerontology Nurse Practitioner. She will be adding an expertise in memory and cognitive issues at the Sutter Neurology office.
St. Andrew’s Church 4575 Auhay Drive Santa Barbara, CA 93110 Time: 2:15 – 3:15 pm
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| Virtual Offerings
- MIND Matters: We Have a Diagnosis. What Next? with Dr. Chloe Kilman: This recorded webinar covers what comes after a dementia diagnosis, including treatment options, safety and legal planning, managing behavioral changes, and caregiver support. It also reviews different types of dementia and answers common questions about medications, newer treatments, and changes in symptoms. CLICK HERE and use passcode +i&6tr.M to access this webinar.
- CLICK HERE to access HFC’s free Alzheimer’s prevention and brain health education video coursework featuring some many celebrity “professors.”
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Sincere Gratitude to our Friendship Legacy Society Members:
Rick & Heidi Holly; Craig Markson; Mary H.Walsh;
Pat Cramer; James & Jeannette Hudgens; Marty & Dixie Moore; Kathryn Westland;
Michael Dean; Steven Gilbar; Suzanne Retzinger; Joe & Pat Wheatley;
Paul Didier; Karolyn Hanna; Gerrie Shapiro;
Joel & Vasanti Fithian; Kenneth & Francie Jewesson; Pauline Short;
Dennis Forster; Rod Lathim; Cynder Sinclair;
Inge Gatz; Arthur Lindo; Lynda Stuart
Friendship Legacy Society recognizes donors who name the Center in their wills or trusts and those who make planned gifts to the Center. Your support makes it possible for us to provide services for those most in need regardless of their ability to pay. Please let us know if have already named Friendship Center in your estate plans so that we may show our sincere appreciation! By doing so, you help to inspire others to support our work as well.
You can contact Heidi Holly, Legacy liaison, at legacy@friendshipcentersb.org
Tax Identification Number: 95-3398938
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Friendship Center Leadership & Partnerships
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| Officers
President
JEFFREY KRUTZSCH
Vice President
JOE WHEATLEY
Secretary
ZANDRA CHOLMONDELEY
Treasurer
GRETCHEN HEWLETT
Member-at-large
GERRIE SHAPIRO
Directors
SUE ADAMS
VIVIAN ARMANIOUS
NATHAN BERO
NOELLE BUBEN
PAT FORGEY
KIMBERLY KIEFER
KATHY MARDEN, MFT
SHIANNE MOTTER
Executive Director
KATHRYN WESTLAND, MPH |
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Follow our social media pages, linked below, for regular posts about the day-to-day happenings at FC!
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