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Pedro Chavez.
By Pedro A. Chavez, Resident of Santa Paula and City Council Member
It’s that time of the year again where members of the LGBTQ+ community and their allies celebrate Pride, a month-long series of festivals, proclamation and flag raising ceremonies, socials and other community-centric gatherings held in cities, counties, and states across our nation.
But what does Pride mean in the age of equality? It wasn’t too long ago that our community faced the daily bombardment of homophobic and discriminatory assaults on our civil liberties. And yes, it was fueled by hate and ignorance. Hate caused by the fear of the unknown. History has taught us that people fear what they don’t understand, and we’ve witnessed that injustice play out in our lifetime.
For members of the LGBTQ+ community it’s been a long and emotional struggle with scars that have only been healed through love and self-acceptance. However. we lost so many friends and family along the way through death or rejection. The damage caused by constant bullying, homophobia both internal and external, discrimination and violence has had a detrimental impact on our minds, our bodies, and souls. Isolation and the lack of socio-emotional support led many down a path of destructive behaviors including drug and alcohol addiction, risky sexual behavior to mental health issues and eventually suicide. For those of us who survived the trauma, we must continue to live and tell our story as our lives have become symbols that societal change and progress is possible.
So let me share with you a bit about my life and the struggles I faced growing up to eventually become who I am today. I grew up in the age of AIDS, where being gay was synonymous with dying of the virus. Growing up in the 1990’s and seeing how gay people were bashed, harassed, and discriminated was difficult to witness first-hand. Discriminatory laws and policies swept the country including “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” preventing gays and lesbians from serving openly in the military in 1993 and the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996 which barred recognition of same-sex couples to marry. Increased hate crimes to members of the LGBT community were rampant and the nation mourned the senseless murder of 21-year-old Matthew Shepard on Oct. 12, 1998. At home my uncle lost his battle with HIV and subsequently died of AIDS in 1997, and being gay was a topic that wasn’t much talked about. So, imagine my experience growing up as a youth in that era? The assaults on gays and lesbians were happening in real time everywhere I turned.
I had to hide deep in that closet and keep the secret of being gay to myself until I was ready to embrace self-acceptance which didn’t happen until I was around 21 years of age. Like so many, I always knew I was different but didn’t realize what that really meant early on. Being gay or lesbian is not a choice. However, accepting your authentic self is the struggle we deal with when we are not supported and embraced by our family, community, and society. The actual choice one makes is about how one accepts themselves and finally comes out of the closet. It’s a personal journey that one must face in their lifetime, and everyone’s path is not the same. For some who are loved and embraced by their family it comes early on in their youth and for others it comes when one achieves independence. Others are chained against self-acceptance by fear and personal trauma imposed on them by family, religion, or societal constructs. Many attempt to live straight or dual lives to please others but end up coming out later in life because they can no longer bear their repressive state. No matter your age, you get to a reflection point in your life when you start the process of shedding the layers of self-hate and oppression that have held you back for years and that’s when one’s journey of healing begins.
In 1999, I left my college experience and headed straight into the trenches of the LGBT civil rights movement where I started a career in the non-profit sector and engulfed my passion not only for marriage equality but for the health and social services of those marginalized, underserved, and underrepresented. In 2005, I followed my heart and moved to Ventura County from Washington D.C. Love is what saved my life and this year I’m proud to celebrate 18 years of marriage to my husband, Francisco S. Estrada. Marriage equality has transformed the lives of so many same-sex couples including mine, and lead many to form families, raise children and build healthy relationships that are thriving.
Today I stand as the first openly gay Council Member in the City of Santa Paula and the first openly gay person of color elected to any public office in Ventura County. As a proud Gay Latino, it’s imperative to use my voice to share the impact that equality has made in the lives of the LGBTQ+ community. I carry the torch of responsibility for those countless LGBT community activists and leaders that have paved the way for equality to be possible.
So, Pride in the age of equality means that there’s hope for a better future where LGBTQ+ people are accepted and embraced for who they are. But it’s also about healing and ensuring that we don’t stop advocating for a world that treats us equally with dignity and respect no matter our sexual orientation and/or gender identity.
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