By David Magallanes / Guest contributor
My daughter is my emotional salvation. I don’t know where my perspective in life would be centered without her existence. She is the center of my emotional mass, very much the heart of my universe. And now she has blessed me with two grandsons.
For some reason, I’m fascinated by the nature of the relationship between father and daughter. It’s a unique connection, with potential for enormous joy, and fraught with land mines delicately triggered at the slightest misstep. This liaison is very unlike that between mother and son, or husband and wife, or brother and sister. It’s enigmatic and strikingly beautiful, mysterious and wonderful.
The relationship between father and daughter is archetypal in nature, with lessons for us that reach back into the mists of time, in our mythology, our history, our cultures and sacred writings. What are those lessons? What do the ancients try to teach us and what did they know about fathers and daughters that we have forgotten or ignored? Why is this sacred relationship not appreciated by so many, or misunderstood by father or daughter or both? How does society at large affect that relationship, and what can be done to illuminate the potential beauty of this link?
Why is there destructive tension between so many fathers and their daughters? Why do so many men not truly know their daughters, and vice versa, even when they live under the same roof? What are the rewards for fathers and daughters involved in a harmonious relationship? How can the fortunate man sustain his connection with his daughter and thereby enhance his life in dimensions otherwise unavailable, and how can the fortunate daughter learn and grow into the stages of womanhood with the constant awareness of the man who loves her unconditionally, and more than any other man? Is there redemption for a fractured relationship? Do daughters even know how they should relate to their father? Do fathers understand the complexity of this female progeny whose life sprang from his? What is the value of a father’s guidance, and the consequences of not having it?
Ultimately, the question I want to begin answering is, “What do daughters want?” I learned as I went; I had no idea, really, how to relate to my baby daughter, my first and only biological child, when she was born. I literally had to “read the manual” — books on the subject — because I knew how little I knew, and I knew how little I’d learned about the topic as I grew up.
If we men can figure out what daughters want, we’ll begin to unlock the secrets of what women in general want, for all women are daughters. And if we can figure that out, then we’ll all have access to the key that allows for a happiness unknown to most of the world.
– David Magallanes is embarking on a speaking and writing career whose purpose is to promote and facilitate the attainment of the American Dream. As an optimistic American of Mexican descent, he brings his perspective to issues of our day. He may be contacted for speaking requests or for commentary at adelantos@msn.com