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By David Magallanes / Guest contributor
David Magallanes
Men, let’s talk about the crucial importance of fathers and “father figures” (such as male relatives or mentors) in the lives of daughters. It is critically important that we men understand the power that we have to help our daughters be successful and happy, or to quite literally destroy them and their chances for acquiring emotional health in later years.
Author, educator and psychotherapist Maureen Murdock (http://www.maureenmurdock.com/) has written extensively on girls’ and women’s issues. In her book, “The Heroine’s Journey—Woman’s Quest for Wholeness,” she writes about the likely positive consequences of approval and encouragement by fathers and other male influences: the woman’s positive ego development. On the other hand, involvement that is negative or absent “deeply wounds a woman’s sense of self.”* She goes on to explain that when a father is absent or indifferent to his daughter, this can be as damaging as if he were judgmentally negative toward her.
We men need to understand the critical importance of our active, positive and loving involvement in our daughters’ lives—throughout their lives, as long as we both live. Their professional, relational and emotional health all hinge on the presence of “the father” in their conscious and subconscious lives. We cannot simply say, as we may tend to think in our masculine culture, “She’ll be OK. She doesn’t need me. She’ll figure it out.”
She may indeed “figure it out.” But in that case, it won’t be anything in our favor, dads.
* The Heroine’s Journey, Maureen Murdock, p. 38, Shambhala Publications, Boston, Massachusetts, 1990.
— David Magallanes is a writer, speaker and professor of mathematics. You may visit his web site, dedicated to honoring daughters and keeping them healthy, at www.roses4daughters.com. You may contact him through e-mail at dmagallanes@roses4daughters.com.
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La Importancia de Un Aliado Positivo y Masculino
Por David Magallanes / Columnista invitado
Hombres, hablemos sobre la crucial importancia de los padres y las “figuras paternales” (por ejemplo, un pariente masculino o un mentor) en las vidas de las hijas. Es gravemente importante que nosotros los hombres comprendamos el poder que poseemos para ayudar a nuestras hijas a ser exitosas y felices, o para literalmente destruirlas y a sus oportunidades para adquirir la salud emocional en los años venideros.
La autora, profesora y psicoterapeuta Maureen Murdock (http://www.maureenmurdock.com/) ha escrito extensivamente sobre los asuntos de las jóvenes y de mujeres. In su libro, The Heroine’s Journey–Woman’s Quest for Wholeness (El Trayecto de la Heroína—La Búsqueda de las Mujeres Para la Totalidad [mi traducción]), ella escribe sobre las probables consecuencias positivas de la aprobación y aliento de parte de los padres y otras influencias masculinas: el desarrollo positivo del ego de una mujer. Por otra parte, el estar involucrado negativamente o el estar ausente “lastima profundamente el sentido de una misma en la mujer” [mi traducción] .* La profesora sigue contando que cuando el padre es ausente o si no le hace caso a su hija, esto podría ser tan dañino como si él la juzgara negativamente.
Nosotros los hombres necesitamos comprender la crucial importancia de que nos involucremos activamente, positivamente y con amor en las vidas de nuestras hijas—a través de sus vidas y el resto de nuestras vidas juntas. La salud profesional, relacional y emocional de ellas depende en su totalidad de la presencia del padre en sus vidas conscientes y subconscientes. No podemos decir simplemente, como tendemos a pensar en nuestra cultura masculina, “Ella estará bien. No me necesita. Ella se lo explicará”.
Es muy posible que ella “se lo explique”. Pero en ese caso, no será nada a nuestro favor, papás.
* The Heroine’s Journey, Maureen Murdock, p. 38, Shambhala Publications, Boston, Massachusetts, 1990.
-– David Magallanes es un escritor, orador y profesor de matemáticas. Usted puede visitar su sitio cibernético, dedicado a la honra y la salud de nuestras hijas, en www.roses4daughters.com. Se puede comunicar con él por e-mail a: dmagallanes@roses4daughters.com.
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