Commentary: Let’s have coffee

By David Magallanes / Guest contributor

How do you go about managing your time, assuming that you do? Not everyone does, after all. Some of us are quite content to “go with the flow,” reacting to whatever blows toward us from the other side of the fence.

On the other extreme, I’ve known people who try to schedule every minute of the day, literally, and hurt lots of people that they supposedly love when those people can’t get the time scheduler to take a moment to do them a simple favor — or even listen to them.

Nonetheless, I’ve become a fan of time management. Many years ago, I started using a calendar that I carried around with me. I’ve since graduated to a Microsoft Outlook calendar that I keep on my computer and download to my  cell phone so that I can carry my calendar, with all its scheduled activities, around with me. I list the activities I want to accomplish in a given day the night before; this way I have my “marching orders” for the following day, and I do my best to cross off as many planned activities as possible. Those activities are prioritized, of course. I don’t skip a medical appointment just because I’m enjoying the casual company of a friend at the local coffeehouse. Unless she really enthralls me. But I digress…

In their books, time management high priests Steve Covey and Alan Lakein write at length about strategies for dealing with the interruptions that will always impinge upon us despite our most carefully laid plans. Both recommend that we evaluate the nature and importance of the interruption before deciding how to deal with it. Some interruptions amount to mere annoyances and can easily be deferred to a later time, if ever; others must command our immediate attention (e.g., “There’s a fire next door and the rest of the building is evacuating…”).

This is where our values must be made to undergird all of our decisions regarding interruptions. If it’s vitally important to me to please everyone, I will forever be reacting to people’s needs, which are endless and profound. I will accomplish practically nothing that is important to me, except helping all these other people.  If my touchstone, my driving principle, is to create an enterprise, for example, then I can’t afford to be interrupted every time someone in my circle has an urgent issue — often of their own making by failing to plan or think ahead. But a personal values statement that we ourselves write will guide us, serving as a “constitution” of sorts, in deciding whether to drop everything we’re doing and lend a hand, or to ignore the pleas for help. This is why it’s so important for us to lay down our guiding principles — in writing — and then allow ourselves to be ruled by them. If we let external sources — be they governments or churches or society — impose values on us that are contrary to our nature, then we will be forever doomed to frustration and unhappiness.

My values are tested every day. My written “constitution” is continually challenged and exercised. One of the values high on my list is to honor my daughter and our relationship. I’ve noted that when I’m in the middle of a chore or a project and she calls me, saying, “Can I drop by with the boys?” or, “Dad, let’s have coffee,” I have no compunction letting go of the task at hand (unless, of course, it’s absolutely urgent) and attending to her desire to spend time with me. There is nothing more precious to me than spending time with my daughter, finding out what’s on her mind, getting to know her as she matures and evolves as a young wife and mother.

As a single person, my friends are important to me, too, of course, and I always appreciate and try to accommodate their need for help or wish to spend time in conversation. As an American, I understand our need to remain dedicated to our work and careers, our goals and ambitions. But as I observed how the French and the Mexicans take the time to not only meet, but to commune with their friends and families, I learned that the most treasured requests we’ll hear from others in our lives will be something like, “Let’s have lunch,” or “Let’s get together for coffee,” or simply, “Let’s get together and talk.”

At that point, we can schedule with them, or drop everything we’re doing and go to the rendezvous, secure in the knowledge that we are acting in accordance with our values and priorities.

— David Magallanes is about to embark on a speaking and writing career whose purpose is to promote and facilitate the attainment of the American Dream.  As an optimistic American of Mexican descent and an educator in college mathematics, he brings a unique perspective to issues of our day.  He may be contacted for speaking requests or for commentary at adelantos@msn.com

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