David Magallanes
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By David Magallanes / Guest contributor
The other day I was listening to the lyrics of a song composed in the 1920s. It caught my attention because of its perspective on love and dependency. Many romantic songs, unfortunately, promote the idea that without the other person, we are “nothing,” or “lost,” or “worthless.” In this particular song, the singer proclaims that he or she can be happy or miserable, good or not good…it all depends on the other person. Ominously, in one verse of the song, the singer declares that he or she can continue to live…or not—and implies rather starkly that whatever happens is the fault of the other. That’s giving a lot of our personal power to someone else! Many popular songs convey this theme of unhealthy dependence, and it soaks into our collective psyche as “normal.”
Often in the news, we hear of someone who becomes violent toward—or even kills—a lover who simply wants “out.” These brutal souls seem to believe that they deserve and have an absolute right to the love of their victims, and they can’t imagine an existence without the object of their obsession. They attempt to chain the other person’s soul to their distorted interpretation of love.
One of my favorite philosophers, Kahlil Gibran, counsels us in his book The Prophet that our desires should include knowing the pain of too much tenderness, being wounded by our own understanding of love, and thereby bleeding willingly and joyfully. He did not say that we were to jump off bridges or explode in rage when another free and powerful soul does not do what we want.
* Photo purchased from Fotolia.com; courtesy Voyagerix.
— David Magallanes is a writer, speaker and retired professor of mathematics. You may contact him at adelantos@msn.com. You may visit his website for better health at www.wellness4families.myshaklee.com.
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Sin Ti “Me Muero”
Por David Magallanes / Columnista invitado
El otro día escuchaba la letra de una canción compuesta en los años 1920. Me llamó la atención debido a su perspectiva sobre el amor y la dependencia. Muchas canciones románticas, desafortunadamente, promueven la idea que sin la otra persona, no somos “nada”, o estamos “perdidos”, o carecemos de valor. En esta canción en particular, el cantante proclama que él o ella podría ser feliz o triste, bueno o malo…todo depende de la otra persona. De manera amenazadora, en un verso de la canción, el cantante declara que puede seguir viviendo…o no—y fuertemente implica que lo que pase es la culpa del otro. ¡Eso sí es entregar una gran cantidad de nuestro poder personal a alguien más! Muchas canciones populares expresan este tema de una dependencia insalubre, y la idea penetra nuestra psique colectiva como algo “normal”.
Muchas veces en las noticias, nos enteramos de alguien que se vuelva violento hacia—o hasta mata a—un amante que simplemente desea largarse. Estas almas brutales parecen creer que merecen y tienen el derecho absoluto al amor de sus víctimas, y no pueden imaginarse una existencia sin el objeto de sus obsesiones. Intentan encadenar el alma de otra persona a su interpretación distorsionada del amor.
Uno de mis filósofos favoritos, Kahlil Gibran, nos aconseja en su libro El Profeta que nuestros deseos deben incluir el conocer el dolor de demasiado cariño, el estar bien lastimado por nuestro entendimiento del amor, y de ese modo sangrar de buena gana y felizmente. Él no dijo que fuéramos a saltarnos de los puentes o explotar con rabia cuando otra alma libre y poderosa no quiera hacer nuestra voluntad.
-– David Magallanes es un escritor, orador y profesor jubilado de matemáticas. Se puede comunicar con él por e-mail a: adelantos@msn.com. Usted puede visitar su sitio cibernético para la salud en www.wellness4families.myshaklee.com.
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