Mona AlvaradoFrazier
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By Mona AlvaradoFrazier / Guest contributor
After hearing of the Sandy Hook Elementary tragedy, a heaviness in my heart began to crush me towards hopelessness. Along with millions of others who watched the media coverage on the mass shooting, I share a heavy heart with others. When I see poems, graphics, and gun control petitions online, I know that people are trying to do something, make things better, and say that enough is enough.
Watching the waiting, the tears, and reporters everywhere brought up years old feelings. It took me back to a shooting in my hometown of Oxnard, at the State of California EDD office where my mother worked. No doubt, the Sandy Hook shooting and deaths have also brought the EDD tragedy up front and center to the employees who were present 19 years ago, on Dec. 2, 1993.
After word of the shooting at the EDD, I left my office and joined a throng of people packed into the back parking lot of the office. One hears all the whispers, “I hear one employee was shot…three…” You are there in a crowd, alone in your thoughts, almost at a panic. You work your way to the front, using your peace officer badge that you’re not supposed to use, but you need to know what happened. Now. Police officers hold you back, they don’t know much more, but they patiently tell you what they know. They try to get all the spouses, relatives, and children of the employees in one area.
Media reporters thrust microphones into faces. I bat one away and see a relative near the building. My mother is safe, the perpetrator was killed she says. Several long minutes later, my mother appears. Days, months pass. Bits and pieces of what my mother saw, heard, did are verbalized. Years later, my mother does not feel safe, but she has made progress through counseling.
During the television coverage of Sandy Hook Elementary, I went over to my mother’s place. She was watching the news. I could see she had been crying. We hugged for a long time.
Years later, every mass shooting brings the violence and irrationality of it all back for my mother and every one of the employees, police officers, families and friends of those killed and injured several years ago. It brings it back to those in every similar situation. And it will for years.
We may never know why a person commits horrible crimes. But, because we can’t explain the reasons doesn’t mean we can’t do something to help prevent similar actions. Reasons are more complicated than only gun control. A conversation about gun violence must also include the mental health issues evidenced by several of the perpetrators of mass shootings.
We can try to understand the difficulties of the mental health system, such as described by this mother, Liza Long, in “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother”.
In Ventura County we have the following mental health resources:
- Clinicas del Camino Real and City Impact offer low cost counseling in West Ventura County
- Cal Luthern Counseling Center and the Jewish Family Services in East County provide counseling
- 211 Hotline, operated by Interface Children and Family Services, serves all of Ventura County
- Several elementary and high schools offer on site counseling services
- Many companies offer counseling through their Employees Assistance Program health plans
- Ventura County Behavioral Health, http://www.vchca.org/behavioral-health provides outpatient mental health services to adults, 18 to 65
- The National Alliance of Mental Ilness NAMI-Coping strategies for parents, caregivers of mentally ill children
The reasons for this or any shooting are complex, but it is not impossible to prevent another tragedy. There are actions one can take, such as signing this petition asking President Obama and Congress to support legislation on the issue of gun control. There are bills that have been and will be introduced by Rep. Carolyn McCarthy, who lost her husband in a mass shooting in 1993, and Senator Dianne Feinstein’s legislation.
Here are more things you can do:
- Help Newtown, CT victim families and their community
- Support counseling efforts for those affected by the tragedy
- Read suggestions on how to talk to your kids: Tips from Save the Children organization
- Resources on how to help children cope
Share these resources with someone in need, take action, and pray for those affected by this crime. Be hopeful for a better outcome after this tragedy. There are children counting on you.
— Mona AlvaradoFrazier is a writer. To see more of her work, visit http://www.alvaradofrazier.com