Frank X. Moraga
By Frank X. Moraga / Amigos805
So how many times have I resolved to do something at the start of the year, only to quickly fall back into my old habits before the end of the first week in January?
Given that I don’t drink or eat to excess, and smoke only my occasional cigar when the Lakers win a championship — that’s not happening anytime soon — I guess I don’t have too many bad vices to give up.
I’m sure my significant other would strongly disagree. Being a dedicated vegetarian going on multiple decades, I often get “The Look” when I covet the occasional hamburger, meatloaf, pot roast, fried or barbeque chicken.
Though she says she worries about my meat-eating habits because of my health, I sometimes suspect there are ulterior motives.
I recall the time when we first moved in together we briefly had a sort of comic strip war going on the refrigerator door.
She posted a cartoon that said something to the effect that there is a reason why carnivorous creatures such as T-Rex no longer inhabit the planet.
So in my twisted defense I cut out another cartoon with two bears laughing and one of them saying, “He said he was a vegetarian, like I cared…”
So yes, I guess giving up meat would be one possible New Year’s resolution. But I know the first time I drive by KFC, Mickey D’s or my favorite, Arby’s, I would be doomed and my car would virtually drive itself right up to the drive-up window before the end of the first week.
So what else can I give up for the new year?
Watching sports on TV? Not going to happen.
Watching trashy sci-fi or horror movies — ditto.
Getting off the couch and taking short walks around the neighborhood? Possible as long as I can carry my sweetener- and cream-laden aluminum coffee mug.
How about reading more classical works? Yes, that would be great. I’m sure I have copies of Don Quixote, Shakespeare, even Tolstoy’s “War and Peace” lying around, with bookmarks where I left off reading them to take an extended nap on the couch.
I could give up watching the political scene in Washington, D.C. Each side is determined not to give an inch to the other so I guess I could stop observing politics for the next, say four years, take a quick peek in 2018 and find that I really didn’t miss much of anything and that both sides are still sniping at each other.
But being the journalist that I am since my early college days, I would find it hard to pry my iPhone from my hands as I scan the news sites morning, noon and night to make sure I’m not missing anything.
Who knows…
- Maybe Miley Cyrus will give up twerking and become a nun?
- Maybe Kim Kardashian and the rest of the clan will realize how unimportant they are to the greater scheme of things in this universe and decide en masse to shun the cameras and live a more simple life?
- Maybe House Speaker John Boehner and President Obama will decide to take an extended road trip together, ala Bob Hope and Bing Crosby. They could call it “The Road to Hell has Frozen Over.”
- Maybe North Korean leader Kim Jong Un will decide to do America a favor and make Dennis Rodman renounce his U.S. citizenship so he can become the full-time coach, and maybe even play center on the North Korea’s Olympic basketball team.
Oh well, not going to happen, but it’s worth dreaming about.
So as 2014 arrives, I resolve not to make any New Year’s resolution, but I will try to eat a little better, exercise a little and reduce stress where I can.
Just remember, they are not resolutions. Like Captain Sparrow’s pirates say, they are only guidelines.
— Frank X. Moraga is editor/publisher of Amigos805. He has served as business editor, director of diversity and general manager of a bilingual publication at the Ventura County Star, and as a reporter in the community editions of the Orange County Register and Los Angeles Daily News.
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